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Stuff In My Head
Jul. 6th, 2009 08:17 amI have no idea what I want to say today.
I failed at quitting an RP I thought that I was done with, because more and more I felt like I was betraying my character. He wouldn't abandon people that way. He wouldn't.
And so now I have to sort out how I can make him someone I want to play again, because I was really kind of not-liking where he was going. He was stretched too thin. Gotta get him in focus again. Come on, Gen, you can do it!
And I dumped my secondaries there. Cos, I don't know. I'm stretched too thin.
I talk about RP when what I want to talk about is RL. How I feel. But I don't know how I feel. Too many things at once, too many directions to be pulled.
Why is it that I can have so many different feelings for so many different people without somehow running out of heart? I once said in a story that a character gave out pieces of his heart like birthday cake at a party, a bit to everyone until he didn't feel he had any left for himself.
I'm feeling a little like that right now.
I failed at quitting an RP I thought that I was done with, because more and more I felt like I was betraying my character. He wouldn't abandon people that way. He wouldn't.
And so now I have to sort out how I can make him someone I want to play again, because I was really kind of not-liking where he was going. He was stretched too thin. Gotta get him in focus again. Come on, Gen, you can do it!
And I dumped my secondaries there. Cos, I don't know. I'm stretched too thin.
I talk about RP when what I want to talk about is RL. How I feel. But I don't know how I feel. Too many things at once, too many directions to be pulled.
Why is it that I can have so many different feelings for so many different people without somehow running out of heart? I once said in a story that a character gave out pieces of his heart like birthday cake at a party, a bit to everyone until he didn't feel he had any left for himself.
I'm feeling a little like that right now.
